Too close to call . . .

Posted: March 17, 2010 in Uncategorized

Today started off as any normal day, but as the day went along, it was back and forth on the emotional side. I had lunch with a very close friend and was able to confide in her a few issues that have been difficult to deal with. She’s a fantastic lady and is married to one of my favorite people (family) in the world. During lunch she said ‘you can tell who people are by whom they allow in their inner circle’. Who we call our friends tells us more about ourselves. I don’t think I’ve really thought about this. I’ve always allowed people in, some closer than others and I don’t call everyone I meet a friend. I wouldn’t say I am picky, but I am also not a friend slut either.

I havent stopped thinking about this and in many ways I wonder what do people think about me then? I mean my ‘people’  are the coolest people, duh!!! But that’s not where we were heading with this over lunch. It was more the reputation of these friends in the community, than their coolness. I guess all people have the ability to be cool and fun, but not all of us want bad rep’s within the community. What we do has a funny way of haunting us forever.

I’ve been racking my brain thinking of all the ‘iffy’ people I’ve known and why I never became better friends or why they were here one day and gone the next. I wouldn’t say I knew every single friend of the friend, but the ones I did know, actually had a very questionable past or reputation.  For some reason it only fits this type of person.  The questionable ones. Why? I m guessing it’s because those who are not questionable, become our friends.

After thinking about it for the better half of the day, I realized she is completely right and actually more than right. If your friends with someone who has a bad reputation or someone who is known for something, doesnt that really tell you more about you? Why would you want to be friends with someone who is full of scandals or problems. Maybe because they are powerful some how or are people you need in your court when the shit gets dirty. Making more sense the more I write.

Where I am going with this, is that today, I once again am caught in the middle of a feud that has nothing to do with me, yet my name is getting smashed and my reputation is on the line, yet I havent been around in this city long enough for people to know me, yes Mr. Secret  I am!

It all comes back to the county once again. Today I was told there has been a stop order on the ‘power’ for my building. Someone at the county has decided to give an order to place a hold on turning on my electricity for the building. WHY? I wish I knew the answer to this one. I have no fucking idea and it not only blows my mind but my electricians as well. Come to find out that the power company is in on it with them and they are telling me its going to take 3 weeks now to get someone out. Ha ha ha, makes me laugh thinking these people get off on all their control. Cant wait to meet them all in a dark alley!

On a down note today, Ziggy was almost lost. I didn’t want to blog about this, but I have to blog about the good and HORRIBLE. I was operating the lift (large electric ladder type of machine). I was coming down on the lift and Ziggy for some reason decided to stick his fat neck inside the machine and sniff around. I’ve been on this machine a hundred times I think and he’s never come close to it. So I am going down, the lift is coming down and there is my dog’s neck inside the machine. I havent ever heard a dog CRY before, but I heard it today, scared the living piss out of me, stopped, raised the lift up, ziggy jumped out, I came all the way down and there was my dog completely in shock and smelly. Imagine if you will putting your neck inside a pair of scissors, then someone closing it and right before it snips you scream and it opens again. Another 2 seconds and I would have snapped his neck in half. The good news is that he is scared to death of this machine and I am still shaking.

On a positive note, I received a wonderful gift from ‘sunshine’. She continues to lift my spirits when I think I’ve reached my limits. What I enjoy the most is that she is simple like me and does things without needing any true reason. She knows times are tough and has been reading a lot on my blog trying to catch up. I admire her for wanting to know everything about this journey  and not asking me directly. It’s nice not to always have to talk about it and yet know she knows what is happening.

I’ve always been attracted to angels and yet never have told her this. I don’t think even mentioned one word about it? When I was growing up I had an angel charm  around my neck and truly believe I was saved because of this one night in West Texas.  There is a famous artist, Brian Andreas, who uses art as a way to tell stories. He is famous for his StoryPeople drawings.

This evening after everything that had happened today and lately, I was given one of his paintings. It reads:

“In my dream, the angel shrugged and said if we fail this time it will be a failure of imagination . . . . and then she placed the world gently in the palm of my hand.”

The power of angels is amazing and in many ways I believe I have one in front of me!

Back to back blogs about angels, is someone sending me a message? ? ?


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